COHABITATION: COULD OR COULD NOT?
By: Tran Huyen Vu Le
Cohabitation is the trend among young people
in our society today. They want to live like a married couple. They live in the
same house, the same room, and sleep together... sexual relationship before
marriage. Almost all of them are students or workers living far from their
parents. They live together without formally registering their relation into
marriage.[1] Another author defined cohabitation as an arrangement where two
people who are not married live together in an emotionally and/or sexually
intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis.[2]
THE
WORLD VIEW SUPPORT COHABITATION
In Vietnam,
so many young people try to live as married couples. In Vietnamese, we call it
“sống thử” or “cohabit.” A survey on cohabitation revealed 61.1% women support
cohabitation, while 70.2% men support this view.[3] They have many reasons for
supporting this perspective. Some argue that in buying "clothes", one
needs to try first if it fits. Others reason that two people living together
will save on expenses, like rent house, food and utilities. Others still say
that couples help each other emotionally, erroneously thinking that when they
do get married, there won't be any more conflicts in family life. Particularly,
they want to try being in a sexually relationship before marriage so they know
how to adapt to each other in marriage. They presume in doing so, life will be
better when they do get married.
THE IMPACT OF COHABITATION
For those who do not support
cohabitation, they also see many things about it that impact people and
society. The first concern is for the girl, who may get pregnant before she is
actually ready for it, emotionally, financially, and especially, spiritually.
In confusion and fear, they may resort to aborting the baby in their womb.
Besides that, the mother also risks the baby born and raised without father, if
their relationship sours.[4] In this case, the children are likely to suffer.
Some think that they can
just use birth control methods like condom or pills. However, birth control
methods are never 100% secure and may have untoward effects on the mother's
health. Having been in a cohabitated relationship that has failed may also
affect future relationships as their future spouses may allude this past to be
tantamount to infidelity. They may argue that if a person cannot control sexual
urges before marriage then perhaps he or she may also be unable to control
sexual desire after it, leading to mistrust.[5]
Other people think that they
will going to get marriage anyway, so no problem, they will belong to each
other. But they do not think that before they get married nothing binds them to
each other; they do not have any commitment. The government's laws will not
protect them. They can easily part ways, without any responsibility for the
other.
Besides that, cohabitating
people run a great risk of acquiring infections and sexually-transmitted
diseases, such as HIV, chlamydia, syphilis...[6] This is will affect their body
and their future children. Some may end up childless. Societal or cultural
nuances may not accept that.
Sexually relationships are
just for married couples, as God intended. If a person really loves his or her
future husband or wife, he or she should wait until marriage and keep
themselves pure for other, based on the model of Christ (Ephe 5:25-33), and “it
is in obedience to the Holy Spirit, who sanctifies.”[7]
CONCLUSION
This article presented both
perspectives... of those who support cohabitation, and of those who do not.
Those who support cohabitation see some benefits, such as saving money, having
someone for support and understanding, having someone to love and serve. Those
who do not support it see many things that may impact directly the person
prematurely involved in a sexually relationship. These may affect their
physical bodies, their children and their future family. It also affects
society as a whole. Ethics of most Asian societies do not allow or support for
this trend.
QUESTION
· How about your opinion? Do you support for cohabitation or not? Why?
· Is cohabitation sin? How can you help young people overcome cohabitation?
· How about your opinion? Do you support for cohabitation or not? Why?
· Is cohabitation sin? How can you help young people overcome cohabitation?
Bibliography:
1. Webster
dictionary, “cohabit”
3. http://vnexpress.net/tin-tuc/thoi-su/song-thu-duoi-goc-nhin-cua-cac-nha-xa-hoi-van-hoa-2003570.html
5. Rae,
Scott B., Moral Choices: An
Introduction to Ethics, Grand
Rapids: Zondervan, 2009.
7. Geisler,
Normal L., Christian Ethics:
Commentary Issues and Options, 2nd Ed.,
. Grand Rapids: Baker
Academic, 2010.
Before making any comments, I should let you know my bottom line. I am very straight forward in this issue that I don’t support and I will not support Cohabitation. Cohabitation is very shameful in my context. It is sin in the eyes of social and religious laws. It is against God’s design marriage life. Community and society, and government should take initiative strictly to stop Cohabitation. We are living in a modern world but Cohabitation is a sign of primitive society so are we walking back to the primitive society?
ReplyDeleteThe only problem of our society is becoming self-centered, what is enjoyable to me, i dont care what people is saying.
ReplyDeleteMay be you have a short time to "enjoyable" but a whole life to suffer. You cannot get back.
ReplyDeleteMay be you not care about “what people is saying” but you need care yourself, many things will effect to your life. So you should think careful before you act.
it is very sad to hear this kind of things is happening among people, this is such a shameful activities the institution of marriage that God started in the Garden of Eden. christian people stand in this gap to bring the true meaning to this society who think sex is everything.
ReplyDeletedefinitely not support this. this is also one of the issues in China, which also cause a lot of abortion. they should be taught the damage of the strange relationship. In another hand, to teach them the beauty of Christian marriage. in their heart, they long for the love of people, so they jumps on the wrong relationship which gives them temporary delight.
ReplyDeleteIf cohabitation is in line with what God allows men and women in their love relationships, I will try it. Luckily, He knows what it is like to have such a bad thing no matter what reasons humankind might think of and He does not want us to suffer from its consequences such as sexual diseases or sorrows. Therefore, I'd better follow his pattern to pursue the best results in my marriage. I surely say NO to cohabitation.
ReplyDeleteHere in the Philippines, the term is "live-in." And just like what you stated at the beginning they are "LIKE" and not actually married. Therefore even though how much they love each other, it is not the proper and godly thing to do. If they really treasure their relationship then they would also follow the will of the One who instituted marriage and legally and really (not like) married.
ReplyDeleteEthic of ASIA society nowaday is not like it was 50 years ago. In my opinion, cohabitation is not good nor bad. There are people live happily during cohabitation and afterwards and there are people do not. The point is that you accept and take responsibility for whatever happen or will happen whenever you decide to do something. Everything has both sides and you choose the one whose good side seems to be a bit better than bad side, you choose the partner who seems to be a good person. However, people make mistakes and those mistakes help them to make less mistakes in the future.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI will not support this, cohabitation is the reason destroy many families. and it effect to their life, their children and their family. i think that people who are living together before married they will not find peace and joyful in their married life.
ReplyDeleteI say NO because I have seen many couples live-in .Most of them have been broke up because they do not have convenant.So that they easy feel bored to who live with and easy to find the others. And human self in the depths they know "something is wrong"
ReplyDeleteBack to the past, Morals Value were highly appriciated by our ancestors. They were also strict with the relationship between men and women. However, our young people nowadays are strongly influenced by foriegn culture. In westerns, it is normal to have cohabitation before signinng in the paper of marriage to form a "home". We can't criticize that becuase it is their culture as well as their identity. We are living a country which honours the moral value. That's why cohabitation is and will be ignored. I strongly combat the cohabitation. However, our actions would speak louder than our criticism. We need to explain, teach as well as to train our young people to be responsible and how to choose the right one to form a "home"
ReplyDeleteNoooooooo!
ReplyDeleteI do not support "cohabitation" when it violates the sacredness of marriage.
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